Once upon a time Molly and I lived 3536.533 miles apart from each other. She was 5 hours ahead of me and that made our LDR and our D/s difficult at times. We had to be inventive and a bit sleep deprived.
One of the things we get asked all of the time is “Do you have a contract?” Sigh.. no, we do not have a contract. Seriously? Do I seem like the kind of guy that would want anything so mainstream as a contract? Now if you have a contract that is just fine, I am not saying that I can’t see how some people might find a contract hot… but not me.
While I may not be a contract kind of guy, I am a tech geek kind of guy and I wanted to have some way that we could talk about the kind of kink things we might like to do if we ever found ourselves in the same room (hard to believe there was ever a time when that wasn’t a sure thing) so after an extensive web search I found some examples of the sexiest kind of BDSM document that you could ever imagine.
I bet you are all hot and excited now! Spreadsheets as a general rule of thumb are not hugely sexy, but after considerable modification I made this into something that we have used for almost five years now. It lists (almost) every possible kinky notion I could find and some that we added together and well, rather than trying to list it all here is a screenshot.
This is not a static document, but a living, changing record of how our lives and our kink have developed over the last five years, even now just looking at the versions over the years it is very interesting to me how items that were in the “Never” column have wandered their way across to “Yes” and visa versa.
This was an important document at the beginning of us, it gave us a framework to discuss kinks and learn about each other. It gave us something to think about during those times when distance made it hard for us to be together and it remains an important touchstone for our D/s today.
If you’d like to share in our spreadsheet geekery, have a link BDSM_Checklist2016