So how do you manage when you feel there is no time left for you?
The other day I ask my meager number of followers on twitter if they had any questions about/for us (Luckily Molly retweeted it) and I thought I would tackle, in order, some of the questions posed. This was the first.
Managing a D/s life with kids around!
Oh boy do we get this one,and we at least occasionally get a break, 4 days a month, when the kids visit their Dad, but we certainly know people who don’t even get that much. Obviously kids impact your kink life, just like they impact everyone’s life. There are sports and events and homework and “Mom, where are my gym shorts” and “He’s looking at me!” and a million other things. So Michael, you may be asking yourself (because I imagine that the inside of your head is like mine), what can you do?
Here are some of the things that we do, even while the kids are around.
She always calls me Sir. I remember the first time she called me Sir and it still gives me that same buzz when I hear it today. Now the kids have asked about that and Molly has explained that it is just like having a nickname and that it is her way of showing me respect. Their response? “Oh, OK”
We use other methods of communication when we are in situations where talking about these topics might be difficult, you know the whole, little pitchers have big ears thing. So while the kids are doing their reading or homework or watching the news, we are often messaging each other the most filthy things. It’s also a good time to set a task. I will often tell her that now might be a good time to wear her butt plug.
Bondage is also a great and hidden way to keep the D/s in life, a rope harness under her clothes while going about the daily tasks can be quite stimulating for the both of us.
And of course Molly always wears her collar, she has a great many to choose from of all styles and colors from a thin silver necklace with a triskelion symbol to an angel wing choker all the way to a steel collar, To the kids it is just part of her dress style and the Stepdaughter will often comment on how well they match or how pretty they are.
D/s doesn’t need to be overt to those around you, if you came and spent the afternoon and had dinner with us you might not even notice that we have that power dynamic, but if you watched very closely you could see it in the look she gets if she is being cheeky, or the way I put my hand on the back of her neck to remind her who she belongs to.
We are often asked what the kids know about our D/s relationship and while we do talk to them about sex pretty openly, because we feel that knowledge is always better than ignorance as they move forward through life and it is good that they know that we do have a sex life, when we are asked this question we always say “They know as much about our sex lives as would be appropriate for any child to know about their parents sex lives, mostly it is none of their business. We show the children a loving, affectionate, strong relationship. We laugh and kiss and hug and be silly and have fun, so they know what love looks like.
Obviously I could have written around 10,000 more words and still not fully covered this topic, I suspect that there will more about this in future posts.