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13 lessons I have learned
- Never salute him, even if you think it is behind his back, the magic of mirrors can betray you.
- Never EVER spank his butt as he goes up the stairs in front of you.
- Never say ‘Come on then, if you think your tough enough’.
- Only ever reply with ‘Make me’ if you actually want him to make you!
- When he says, do not tidy up my clutter space while I am away, he really fucking means it and the excuse, I cleaned because I was missing you, will not get you out of a stinging punishment.
- Never wave the wooden spoon at him unless you actually want to feel its unforgiving whack on your bottom
- He is the master of the distraction game but all attempts to distract him will end in utter failure
- He never forgets a misdemeanour, he might appear to forget but it is just a ruse and will always ‘remember’ at the exact moment (usually when you are over his knee).
- Running away can be fun but it is a risky game. Be sure you want the consequences of being caught before you set off. 9.1 He is surprisingly fast.
- Never ever, ever reply to something he says with; Whatever!
- When he says, you sure you want to play it that way, take the hint and consider your actions carefully.
- There are very few rules but breaking the few that there are is a big mistake.
- Crying, pleading, begging, saying fuck off, fuck you, you bastard, I hate you, I love you, are not safewords, in fact experience has taught me, they are quite the opposite.