I am not one for wearing suits. There isn’t anything about them that works for me. I don’t feel powerful when I put one on, I don’t feel smart (sharp, for the murricans) when I wear a suit, in fact I really hate that expression. It somehow insinuates that people who wear suits are smarter than the rest of us. Mostly what I feel is uncomfortable and wondering how I am going to swing anything properly in this ridiculous get up.
Prior to attending my very first Fet club I went to read the rules.
Now many of the rules make perfect sense. Things about consent and safety that are an absolute must. Often there is a house safeword and even Dungeon Monitors. All great stuff. But then I got to the dress code. There are a few key words:
“Make an effort”
“Minimum all black”
“No Jeans or sneakers” (trainers for the Brits)
Now these rules seem to mainly mean that I have to look (at least to me) ridiculous. I can wear any number of outlandish outfits and I would be escorted right in (I have often threatened to show up in a full scuba suit) but I am not going to feel Domly if I dress in a clown suit or latex or butt less chaps. Kudos if that works for you, but why does your kink get a pass while my desire to be a “Plaincothes Perv” gets shot down?
I have heard all the counter claims:
People like to dress up.
Well, no, not all of us do. I feel powerful when I am comfortable and I expend a lot of effort and energy when I play with Molly and you know what? A sweaty suit is sexy to no one.
It keeps the random people from off the street from just coming in to point and laugh.
When has this actually ever happened? All the Fetclubs I know have very strict policies on who gets in. We have had to go through an extensive vetting process for most clubs.
It is a themed event and participating makes everyone have a better time.
Okay, I will grant you this one. I do attend events where the dress code is part of the dynamic of the event, Clothed Male Naked Female is one such event (don’t worry, that gets a whole post of its own) and so I am willing (ish) to accede to their requirements, but they really don’t improve my enjoyment of the event.
Molly and I have never attended Torture Garden or any of the other “dress to impress” events. Mostly because it seems like all they are is a fetish fashion show and from what I have heard the spanking benches spend more time being used as seats than for their intended kinky purpose.