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Bang it out

Het Jerking me off

I love a good hand job.

This is something that I think can often be overlooked as a full and complete sex act all on its own. Sure they are great as foreplay but a great wank delivered by a knowledgeable partner can be absolutely glorious!

A well lubed hand gliding up and down my cock, no expectations of me other than to just enjoy, why it is just pure heaven. Not to mention that it leaves her (yes, for me it is always a her) free to say words, hot, sexy, filthy words and that just makes it all the better.

When I spend time doing some DIY it never involves lube, it did in my younger days when I whiled away many idle moment in my bedroom stroking one out to the sexy bra pictures in the Sears and Roebucks catalog with a bottle of Jergens hand lotion and a box of kleenex. It wasn’t until later in life when I was out on my own and very poor that I discovered how to do myself sans accoutrement.

During the time when I was homeless (I promise I will write that post) there were many handjobs, one that will always stick out was delivered by an older woman while I was mixing sound for a band, but to be perfectly honest most of them were terrible.

Now you have to remember that this was in the 70’s and the sexual revolution was in full swing. AIDS was mostly unknown and we were all exploring, feeling our way around this new world. We were all inexperienced and I am sure that most of the women I was having sex with were as new to this as I was (I did have the advantage of being introduced to many sexual acts by an older woman) so the level of expertise certainly varied. But the one thing that was fairly consistent was the manual mishandling of my dick. Many approached it with a “Hang on for dear life” approach that felt like it was going to be torn out by the roots, others with an exceptionally timid grip that left me wondering if they were jerking me off or just the air near my cock. I always took the time to explain and show how I liked to be touched and often found that it was just best to ask if they had some baby oil or other lotion. Once a bit of lubrication was applied things seemed to go much more smoothly and most seemed to appreciate the tips.

I have some suspicions as to why this is the case. I am circumcised and in my discussions with Molly about circumcision and penis handling (since she has handled many more varieties than I have) that being cut probably has a direct impact on the mechanics of dick diddling. She believes that being uncut offers a masturbatory advantage as the foreskin can glide back and forth reducing the potential for friction issues and that lube might be less needed in this instance. I think she may have a firm grip on the situation.

In the unlikely (but not impossible) event you find yourself with the opportunity to fondle my man meat I have decided to offer some suggestions on how to choke my chicken.

  1. Warm hands. I can’t over emphasize this one, my joystick is extremely temperature sensitive and cold hands make Bob Jr. want to play turtle. This applies to the lube you might decide to use as well, this can be easily overlooked.
  2.   A firm grip, not a death grip, imagine you are holding an uncooked egg, my penis is sturdy but not made of steel.
  3. Long slow strokes if lubed, paying special attention to slightly tighten your grip as the head of my tower of lust passes through your fingers. Conversely if it is an unlubed session be sure to loosen slightly as you pass over this very sensitive area. Please, never attempt to break a speed record in either situation.
  4. Talk to me, tell me a dirty story or sexual fantasy or even just ask if I like what you are doing. (bonus points if you can work asking me how it feels into the dirty fantasy you are weaving)
  5. Just do it. I love it. It makes me feel like I am the center of your attention and that you are completely focused on making me feel good. Who doesn’t want that?

Really if you want to know how I like it, just ask me to show you. I will quite happily whip it out and demonstrate to you just what nearly forty five years of touching myself have taught me.

Because who doesn’t like a bit of show and tell.


P.S. I might have left out the bit where I get to see my come on her. That sounds like it might need to be a post of its own too.

P.P.S. Molly gave me a damn good hand job to get the picture for this post. I need to write about this stuff more often. 😉

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