People love to shorten things up into acronyms and the BDSM community is no different (look, even I do it) and that is because people are lazy (and twitter has a character limit) but we do end up with a bunch of letters that we toss around and often that doesn’t actually make anything better. A prime example would be BBC which is either the British Broadcasting Corporation or maybe Big Black Cock, which are two very different things. Now that doesn’t mean that the shorthand is all bad as long as they are explained and there are a few that Molly and I use that I want to talk about today.
These have to do with our play ethos.
Safe, Sane and Consensual. Doesn’t that sound good? This is a perfectly acceptable way to conduct your BDSM practices. It is a simple enough concept you only play safely, you don’t do anything crazy and you do everything with full consent. While this works for many it doesn’t work for Molly and I since many of ways that we play are neither safe nor sane. But maybe this describes your practices.
Risk Aware Consensual Kink. This definition acknowledges that safe and sane can be problematic concepts, this applies outside of BDSM too, no one would describe many extreme sports as safe and sane and yet they are very popular. Risk Aware means that you know that bad things can happen but that you prepare for the possibility of something going wrong. This is my personal favorite and seems a fit in my mind with my time on the road doing concert sound and rigging huge PA systems where you made damn sure to be as safe as possible so that you didn’t get hurt and more importantly that no one else got hurt. Sound familar?
Risk Informed Safe Sane Consensual Kink. This one is new to me and sort of a melding between SSC and RACK. I linked to this one rather than spend a lot of time talking about it as it seems a personal construct (nothing wrong with that and there will be more) but it doesn’t seem to be widely used. Again, I don’t think that this describes what Molly and I do.
Balls Out Risky Kink. I have a lot of issues with this one. Here is the definition from Rekink:
An acronym used to describe a philosophical view that is permissive of exceptionally risky sexual behaviors. BORK differs from typical edge play in that the term edge play more commonly references types of play that can have catastrophic results in the cases of equipment failure or improper technique, but that in edge play those risks are mostly mitigated by equipment maintenance and proper technique, where as with BORK even with proper equipment maintenance and proper technique a large and substantial risk is still present.
That doesn’t work for me, I am willing to take risks, but not “large and substantial risks” that can have “catastrophic results” I wouldn’t be able to live with myself should something go that wrong and I caused that kind of harm to Molly. I like to play with the edges, not jump off the building. I haven’t even mention how much I don’t like the Balls Out part of the acronym, because you don’t need balls to be dominant.
Personally Responsible Informed Consensual Kink. This acronym was coined by my friend (well, maybe he considers me more of an acquaintance, and Molly’s Dom crush) Graydancer (see, he even has a cooler Dom name) and a excellent presenter and runner of Grues. I will let him explain it himself. Now he and I don’t agree on everything and I feel that if you have a solid grip on what Risk Aware means for you and your partner you are good to go. Molly thinks that his definition of PRICK is how we define RACK , and maybe she is right. But either way I respect his point of view and wanted to share it with you.
What we do is not without risk and we should always read and learn, even points of view that are very different and maybe not for us. Knowledge is never a bad thing. Ignorance can be lethal.
So tell me, which of these suits you best? Or even better make up an acronym of your own and share it.