So today dear reader I learned that yet again I am not doing D/s right. This is not an uncommon occurrence, I often find that social media is full of example and teaching to let me know how I am getting it wrong and we are not really D/s. Here is today’s lesson
Here are my thoughts. Yes, you can have a D/s relationship without sex, and if that is what you want cool. But why must it be exclusive? Why MUST we separate these things. If you have a partner where D/s and sex are blended why is that a bad thing? What is it about sex that demeans D/s? Why does that make me/us superficial if it is all part of whole?
This is not the first time I have encountered this. Way back shortly after we started the munch we held a munch/play party. It was a fun event in a photography studio. About halfway through the event a couple started having sex in the bar area and a few minutes later we were approached by a Dom who pointed out what was going on and said “There should be rules against that, I don’t want to see that” We pointed out that he had just had his sub on a gynecologists chair and was flogging her tits and pussy and that their might be those who didn’t want to see that. Our rule has always been at our play events that sex was just fine.
In many BDSM clubs this has not been the case, one in London had signs all over the venue saying “No Sex” which struck me as odd since it was being held in a swingers club. For the life of me I can’t figure why these things need to be divorced from each other. I often use sexual elements in our D/s life, orgasm control and forced orgasms spring right to mind.
That being said if it is important to you to draw a bright line between sex and D/s well, that is your business.
But to tell me that I must do the same as you? Well, that is my business and I shall gleefully ignore your rules and remain “a tad superficial”
P.S. I considered adding a second rant to this post on a separate but equally rage inducing topic, but Horny Geek Girl is handling that rant 😀
P.S. by Molly… If there isn’t going to be any sex then I am probably going to not be that interested in doing it.
3 thoughts on “A Tad Superficial”
I saw that discussion too, and just kind of rolled my eyes. Of course if we physically couldn’t have sex we’d learn to get along without. But since we can, of course we want to. Sex is fun. Our favorite kink events make a big deal about being sex friendly. It is up to the people who don’t want to see “that”, whether it is sex or needle play or fire, in such environments, to change the channel by walking away and looking at something else.
It’s amazing to me that even in the normally open minded culture of BDSM, there is still this need to control the sexuality of others. It’s bad enough that this happens in the religious and political circles, but when it happens with D/s, it just doesn’t make much sense to me.
I am a sexual submissive. I don’t want to have one without the other.
This is as bad as my vegan friends demanding that I become a vegan just so they can feel better about their choices, or my Christian friends demanding I become a Christian so they can feel they saved a lost soul.
If you don’t want to have sex, don’t have sex. But just because you don’t, it doesn’t give you the right to demand that others don’t have it either.. in or out of D/s and/or BDSM.
Well said, Rose. It seems these days if you don’t agree with someone, no matter what it is, you must change that person’s behavior, rather than ignore it. As long as I am not forcing you to accept, condone or perform my actions, please move along, nothing to see here.