BDSM is not safe. Nothing will make it safe. When you play with pain, and impact and fire and rope there are a million things that can, and will go wrong. Just like all the other activities we do that all carry a certain amount of danger, it is not paying attention that can kill you. You pay attention when you cross the street right? The only thing you can do is minimize that risk.
There are many tools that you can use to keep your play fun and not have it turn into a hard to explain medical emergency. We take the obvious precautions to go along with the type of play we are doing. Safety scissors for rope play. Disinfectant wipes and bandages for play that pierces the skin. Even a wet towel if fire is being used.
Since most of our play revolves around impact the tool that we use most often is communication. Now sometimes that communication is her saying “Fuck that hurts” and sometimes it is only conveyed by body language. That means I have to be paying attention to see those subtle signs.
Molly and I have a safeword. I know that there are those who preach that safewords don’t keep you safe. And they are right. Nothing keeps you safe. Seat belts don’t prevent an accident but they just might help you survive it. I feel the same about safewords and I won’t play with anyone that won’t use one with me, even if it is just “Red”. This is not to cast aspersions on those who don’t, these are simply my rules.
I want to reiterate that nothing I have said will guarantee you safety, these are just thing I try to think about ahead of time to keep the risk of anything bad happening as low as possible. I love Molly and while I enjoy hurting her and she enjoys being hurt.
No one wants her harmed.