She doesn’t understand why I love her. She worries that I will stop. That I will turn to her and say, “I don’t want to do this anymore”
You see Molly really didn’t believe in love. She thought it was a lie used to pressure (pressurise for the Brits) into doing what you were expected to do. Marry, have kids and just get on with your hum drum life until it was time to fade into memory.
She is wrong. It isn’t like that. It doesn’t matter what our disagreements are, or that we fight. I don’t care if she is grumpy or tired or frustrated. I love her. Unconditionally. That I think is where she has trouble. The expressions of love have always been conditional for her. I love you as long as you do what you are told, I love you as long as you do what you are supposed to do. Or worse, that you would just have to live a life that didn’t contain love at all, just contentment that you had a normal life like everyone else.
Settle for what you have and don’t spend your time yearning for something that isn’t real. I have spent all the time that we have known each other trying to convince her that she doesn’t need to do anything to earn my love. It just is. I am not going to take it away as some sort of punishment, hell there are lots of other fun ways to punish her when she deserves it that don’t ever involve that kind of heartless threat.
So maybe I need to just keep at it and show her that while she can be a great big pain in the ass crazylady that never means I stop loving her. That she is worthy of that love every minute of every day. I know that she loves me no matter how much I frustrate her and no matter how angry she is at me.
I am secure in that and I want her to learn that she is too.
I promise you that when I say the words, they mean the whole world to me and that even when every hand is against you…
I am on your side.
I choose you over everything, everyday of my life. You are my best friend, and my love no matter what comes.