I see a lot of submissives on Twitter asking how they can be better and even more Doms asking how they can train the perfect sub and while I tend to shy away from opinions on social media these days, I thought I could maybe help out in some small way on this topic.
It is a deep dark secret and I will probably have my Dom card revoked for revealing it, but at my age I don’t think those things matter much anymore so this will be my tell all.
To be the perfect sub you need to be
That’s it, just be you, because even if you haven’t found the correct (or correct enough) other person to share your kinky adventures with you need to be true to yourself and not try to be what the other person wants you to be or even what you think the other person wants you to be. Playing that kind of part is tiresome and very few people can keep it up for long and I am fairly certain that in the long run no one is happy.
Now that doesn’t mean that you both aren’t going to learn and grow together as you explore what D/s you are, and you need to learn to listen whether you are the Dom or the sub because perfection isn’t a place you can ever reach. Perfection is the journey to a place where you never arrive.
The bonus information is that the same things apply to being the perfect Dom. You are both in this together and what is really important is that you work on it. What you might learn is that you are the perfect sub, but just not for the Dom you are currently with.
Lots of people will be happy to tell you that you aren’t doing it right and only they are the true keeper of the flame and truth of D/s. I am here to tell you that those people are wrong. The only true path do D/s happiness is to find your own path that works for you and your partner(s)./ Don’t try to be like me and Molly or me and kitten because while it works really well for us, none of us are you. You might find that some of things we do might work for you, but then again they might not. And I am very sure that if you watched or day to day lifestyle you might even be disappointing with how little it looks like your fantasies of what 24×7 D/d looks like. Now that isn’t to say we don’t live our D/s everyday, it is just that you might find it hard to see in our day to day life.
And that is just how we like it. We aren’t meant to be role models for the perfect relationship because the only people our relationship is perfect for is us. So now that I have revealed the hidden truth of D/s I will offer the only advice you need to attain perfection.
Find out what perfection means to you.