The lovely @RubyGoodnight had a question from way back when I asked the good people of twitter for suggestions on topics. She wanted to know about Dom-drop.
To those not aware of what Dom-drop is, it is the counterpart to Sub-drop, the come down after a play session that can be pretty intense after the high of the shared experience. And just like Sub-drop there are many who say that they don’t experience it. I know Molly certainly needs time after playing to be held and snuggled to ease her back, and I need time too. It isn’t the same for me I think, since I don’t get the same rush of endorphins that she does. Don’t get me wrong, I do get a high from our BDSM play, I just don’t think it is the same.
My feelings during play are intensely focused and tend to be a bit zen like (this is hard to explain), detached yet totally aware. Then immediately after play my attention needs to be on aftercare to be sure that she has what she needs in those vulnerable moments.
I mention all of this because in my experience drop happens in stages. Stage one happens right after play ends and is part of the natural transition back to the mundane world. Stage two can happen as long as several days later and often appears as what I like to call an emotional hangover that is a combination of the decline in endorphins and adrenaline as they are flushed from the bloodstream.
For me, my drop seems to follow a similar, if less intense, pattern. I find that I need to time to myself to cool down and reflect my performance as well as hers. I used to step outside and have a smoke (ah I miss that) and enjoy the cold. Now it is reduced to just sitting quietly and collecting myself. The secondary drop is really just the building need for me to do it again. While we do play at home, there are a few things that are available at a club that are fairly hard to replicate, like having a handy St Andrews cross in our living room (some day though) and the wonderful spanking bench that Molly loves so much and since we don’t play out all that often the length of time before we get to play again can seem like a far away dream. I can get restless and a bit antsy because I miss the feeling I get when we are in that moment where her needs and mine live in harmony.
I am completely sure that I have not managed to capture the feelings of Dom-drop and that I will look at this post later and whack myself on the forehead for all the details I have left out, but then I have many more posts ahead of me here on This D/s Life so you can be sure that Dom-drop will get another pass.