I watch (yes I even watch you) people. I watch people in the world and on social media and a lot of you on your (sorry I am so terrible at commenting) blog posts. You are all simply fascinating and I like this new version of openness I see in how people are willing to share of themselves with perfect strangers.
What I observe however is that a fair number of you (not all of you) aren’t very happy. This is not gender specific. I see unhappy Men, I see unhappy Women, I see unhappy Others/Not Applicable. I see people in relationships who are unhappy, I see singles unhappy, I see Poly/Open/StopTryingToDefineMes unhappy. I see that most of us are unhappy in one way or another.
Sometimes it is about money, or work or kids, but mostly what it really seems to end up being about is
sex and relationships
It is interesting for me to see people attempt to fulfill their desires in non-traditional ways. Open marriages, Poly and other alternate relationships. There is one that I see a growing trend for that doesn’t seem to be talked about very much at all. That is staying single. I don’t mean that they don’t have sex, they do, and a lot it seems. What I mean is they don’t want any sort of permanent emotional relationship. I know a growing number of people who are giving this a try. I do know some that this seems to be working out for, a good friend has several men that each fill a specific need in her life and that seems to work for her, but it was not an easy journey to get to that place.
But most of the people I know that are using this approach claim they don’t want a relationship at all. Just casual sex and they will do quite fine without anything else. But in watching and observing I am not sure that is true. I think that people need other people and for more than just a good fuck and that over time they find themselves unsatisfied with the lives that they have.
Maybe I am wrong and this will be the new normal, that connections with partners will be more tenuous and situational. That happiness can be found in a variety of ways and I am just a dinosaur (I am really fucking old after all) and not current with what the kids are doing these days.
But I do know that I see a lot of unhappy, and I don’t like seeing that in the world.
In the meantime, I will keep watching and thinking.