Heavy chain for weight

Wait, Weight Don’t Tell Me

I decided to write a post for Rebel’s Wicked Wednesday prompt “weight”

I pondered this long and hard and finally settled on the weight of responsibility in our D/s relationship. Because in spite of the fact that we both need a D/s life that doesn’t mean that it is actually easier than a traditional relationship. Sometimes it is much more difficult.

You might think that all of the weight falls on me as the Dom in this life of ours, but that would be very wrong. I am sure somewhere there is a couple where the Dom(me) makes all the decisions about every little thing and an adoring subs loves that. But that would drive me (and her) completely insane. Seriously taking over every decision for her would be fun for about oh, three seconds.

As I have said before, I don’t want a doormat I want a strong confident woman who chooses to submit to me (and no matter what some half wit says, all women do not want to be submissive) I want a partner, and a damn feisty one at that. It is a matter of finding that balance in everyday life that fill the need we both have to keep our interactions D/s throughout everything we do.

But still, there is the weight of that on the both of us. Am I being Dom enough to meet my, and her, needs? Is she being sub enough for me, or for her? Is this disagreement an appropriate discussion for me to put my uberdomly foot down? I make light of it but it is something that I know the both of have to consider on a regular basis. We are, after all not immune to the different opinions on a thousand topics that any married couple has.

None of that even touches on the larger divergent points of view we have on many topics including sexual differences, like her desire to have an open relationship and my utter failure as a Dom and husband to deal with that well. All of that weighs on us both, and sometimes that weight can feel overwhelming. She feels silenced, I feel like an ass because she feels silenced and so it all gets heavier.

So what is to be done Michael? How do you deal with all of this complexity?

That is when the good weight of our relationship comes in. The comforting weight of the love and respect we have for each other, that no matter how tough it gets what we have is substantial and can not be crushed by the differences that try to smother us. So we just keep on talking and supporting each other and looking for ways to understand each other better. I know that we are strong enough to survive anything that the world can throw at us (but the world could give us a tiny break this year, the current events of 2016 have been pretty sucky and depressing) and that we will come out the other side better than ever.

Since my mind works the way that it does I will close with a Beatles lyric

Boy, you gotta carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

But you know what? We are strong, and we are worth it.



P.S. Bonus points if you get the NPR title pun 😉


6 thoughts on “Wait, Weight Don’t Tell Me

  1. Ha! I thought of the NPR show (one of my faves) right away when it saw your title. I love this post. I love that both of you admit, at times, to having differences or struggles and that you love and support each other anyway. The solidity of your love and care and respect for each other is such a beautiful thing. As the kids say, you and Molly are #relationshipgoals to me (and I’m surely not alone). Thanks for everything you both are and do.

  2. I didn’t get the title pun, but I sure loved reading this post. I think some things in your relationship rings true for our relationship too. There definitely is responsibility on both sides, but constantly talking to each other is so very important!
    Thanks for linking your post to Wicked Wednesday 🙂

    Rebel xox

  3. I’ve been seething for a couple of days over the line “…utter failure as a Dom and husband to deal with that well”. If there is any truth in that does that make me an utter failure as a sub and partner? I would love to know how I can move forwards but the guilt I feel tears me apart.

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