Let me see if I can do this without being a dick.
To me (the crucial words) submission or dominance is never simple (for us)
I am sure for some people that isn’t true, that in that moment the Dom commands and the sub does as she is told. Molly is not that kind of sub. She is difficult and obstreperous and willful. She needs to be made to submit and that is just how I like it and how she needs it to be.
We are not all the same even if we sometimes share labels. I try to keep that in mind when people use those labels as a handy shorthand for identifying themselves.
It takes away from Molly’s submission, that struggle that is integral to what her submission means to her, when she is told “It’s simple”. It makes her doubt herself and causes her to question her submission. And it isn’t just her. In those moments we share, because the struggle is so important I have to be extra aware that I find that line where I force her, but not cross over the line. To judge all the variables of that moment. Is she too cold? Is there something on her mind that might make it more difficult for her to let go? I need to be aware of all the things that impact what we are about to do. That is not simple for me, as much as I would like to be a mind reader, I am not. As much as communication is part of all we do no one communicates everything all the time so I constantly test and observe and evaluate. Does that sound simple?
Learning to let go is not simple, learning how to help someone let go is not simple, that doesn’t change because of an order or a look or the rules. It is a treacherous battlefield, full of traps and mines and obstacles that need to be overcome each and every time.
One thought on “Sub is a Battlefield”
I think “simple” is often interpreted as “easy,” when in reality, the two words have very different connotations.
If you’re overweight and want to lose, the solution is “simple” – cut back on calories and increase exercise. If you want to reduce risk of heart attack, the answer is “simple” – quit smoking and reduce your cholesterol.
For most people… NOPE.