Molly often says she is a bad sub, this is not a new thing, even before we had ever met in person she would often say “I am a terrible sub” Now really that isn’t true, she means it in a very specific way which I will explain later in the rambling incoherent post.
This popped into my head while I was reading (because my brain never stops) so I asked Molly some questions about being my sub.
I asked “What do I like in a sub?”
Small to medium breasts
My next question was “Why are you what I like in a sub?”
“I am those things I have already said. You like those things and you would never want me to be a meek little sub in waiting, sitting on her knees in the corner waiting patiently to serve you. You would be bored and utterly disinterested”
My last question was “How could you be a better sub?”
She was not a fan of this question. In her opinion she felt like this was a trick question. This is because I don’t like it when she is negative about herself. Once I let her know that this was not about looking for flaws but instead to get her to consider things about her submission to me that she could improve. In the end her answers were.
“Take more pain, because I know you are holding back and it would turn you on not to have too.”
And “Make the coffee more often”
She is right about many thing here. I want a challenging woman, someone who has an opinion and can argue intelligently, who won’t change her mind just because I hold a different view. Someone who keeps me on my toes, someone that I make be the dirty little bitch she secretly wants to be. This is what she means when she says she is a terrible sub. The stereotypical sub famed in BDSM lore (and teen fantasy) holds zero interest to me and equally a full time brat would just irritate me in a completely different way, acting out to get my attention always backfires because you won’t like the kind attention you will get.
She is also right that I want to give more pain, but what she might not know is that she will get there. That I am patiently guiding and training her to take more pain, to be the best sub for me, while I learn to be the best Dom for her.
I have sometimes been approached by women who want to be my sub (it happens far less than you would imagine) and while I am flattered, I always have to pass. You see, I have found the sub that fits me just right, not perfect because perfect means unchanging but the one that grows and changes as we find out what works for the both of us.
And someday, maybe, she will make the coffee.*
*To be fair I do make a better cup of coffee than she does, and I don’t even attempt to make her tea anymore 😉
P.S. I put Molly on the spot when asking her these questions (a very Dom thing to do I think) and she is dissatisfied with her answers. I am going to use this as an opportunity to have her write a similar post from her point of view.