A phrase you hear a lot when you move in the circles that we do is “In my real life” Whenever anyone says it everyone nods their head because they know that they have to lead two lives. What gets me is that one is referred to as the real one.
I get why. If you were forced to choose which parts of your life you would give up we would always choose our families.
The real shame is that is something that most have to consider, while there are a lucky few that can be open about this secret part of their lives that is not true for most. For many being exposed would have serious consequences in their real life.
I think that most of the bloggers and writers I know would would love to not have to lead a double life, always worrying that someone might expose them and ruin this part of their lives that is so vital to their happiness and it must be something that brings them a great deal of joy for them to even consider risking the rest of their lives and relationships so that they can pursue that passion. They come to Eroticon and debate the ethics of consent and how to write better and how to present their fine work in a way that is as polished and refined as possible. All while operating under the ongoing (at best) disapproval of the world at large.
Who else in the world has to operate under this kind of cloud? Imagine if sports had to operate this way. If they had to meet in distant cities and obscure their identity so that no one knew who they were. Adopt “sports names” and when they chose to write about their lives or publish their stories have to suffer the wrath of those who found what they do as evil and corrupting and despicable, that even those who just enjoyed what they did were bad and evil people. Not to mention what could happen if young people were exposed to sports at a young age.
What these talented people do is vital and far more important to our lives than a football game, and what is even more impressive is that they choose to do it in spite of the risks and condemnation of the rest of the world.
It is my privilege to know and in some small way support them in what they do, and even though I blog I don’t hold a candle to these brave chroniclers of the boundaries of one of the most basic human drives there is.
I tip my non-existent hat to you
From the lounge at the Raddison Blu post Eroticon 2016
3 thoughts on “No Such Thing as the Real World”
As a practicing Pagan, I can totally relate to need to hide part of your life from others. For the first 20 years of being a Pagan, I was “in the broom closet”, only out to those who agreed with my beliefs, all of us with secret craft names, kept separate from our other lives. We had groups online that catered to just those who understood, much like Fetlife and Collarspace. It’s only been the past 5 years or so, I’ve stopped hiding my belief system (but I still have to hide my kinky side). I haven’t bashed anyone over the head with my Pagan beliefs, but I’m not afraid to comment or post things on my blog or Facebook page. Even with that, I have had friends who one day accepted me and the next disowned me when they learned I wasn’t a Christian like them. I do have Christian friends who, at most, tolerate it, assuming that it’s just a phase that I’m dabbling in. Can you image what they would think if they knew I loved to be tied up and wear a butt plug? These same people already think I talk too much about sex and at my age should be “done with all that shit”, and that’s just vanilla sex, and they cringe when I say I love to be naked and would do well as a full time nudist.
But I’ve been surprised at some of my friends, including a cousin who shares a birthday with me, but is older by several years, to learn that is very Pagan-friendly and I think probably is in the broom closet herself. I wonder if she is a closet-submissive too?
Lovely post! Xx
This is so true Michael… I catch myself on my blog sometimes talking about my “real life” and realize I’m trying to bring both together. But there’s a limit to how open I can be, and wish there wasn’t. Especially as I’m trying to find a partner to be with me for a long time. It’s hard enough without adding “hey how sexually open are you?” To the mix.
Sorry I missed you guys this year.