People seem to take great joy in judging other people by what they wear, how they look, even their age. If you do the social media thing you might have seen that my day did not start out so well. I had stumbled onto a series of tweets that started with.
“Men over 55 arriving at work in Lycra should be illegal” I am not going to identify the tweeter, but I certainly don’t follow them anymore as well as anyone else who took part in the age/fat bashing that followed. Seems that he should be ashamed of himself for being sweaty, tubby and too old. Because no one wants to be greeted by that when they arrive at work. I guess that he should give up his efforts at being fit and hide at a desk in the back so that the attractive people don’t have to see him.
As I am 56 and would not look good in Lycra I took this rather personally. You know what, no one ever in my life would pick me out of a line up as a handsome man. And now that I have gotten older you know what? I’m fat, not morbidly so, but I am not going to be mistaken for a workout nut. I’m okay (mostly) with that. Right up until someone a few decades younger than I am tells me what I am supposed to fucking wear. I have so much rant in me right now about this that I am going to have to force myself to stick to a few salient points before I write a book on this topic.
- Really? Mocking someone who is trying to get fit?
- How does their age matter? Please tell me where I can go to brush up on what people my age are allowed to wear.
- He was “Sweaty”? How dare he sweat near your preciousness!
- This had such an impact on your life that you had to jump on social media to let us old fat fucks know just how “ewww” we all are?
- This impacts everyone on your Timeline who might not meet your standards of attractiveness.
- It pissed me off enough that I am writing this post instead of finishing my badly written sex story.
Molly has written about this (and as per usual far better than I) on her post Age Inappropriate. I know how much worse this kind of schoolyard behavior is for women than it is for men. But that doesn’t mean that it is okay, It is not ever okay.
So while I doubt this post will be read by the tweet author I hope it might be useful for everyone to have a think about this. While I am firmly on the side of expressing your opinion I would hope that you might pause briefly and consider the impact your thoughtless words might have on others.
Because I have considered what impact these words might have on you. And I wouldn’t say anything here that I would not say to your face.
P.S. Time will be a better teacher on this subject than I ever can, now pardon me while I go buy some Lycra so I can piss someone off.
9 thoughts on “Sweatin’ to the Oldies”
Well said! I’m 44 & not in any way gym perfect, a remark like that directed toward me as I was trying to be a healthier person would be very hurtful. I hope the person does read this & is more considerate in the future.
There’s even a handy acronym that people use to shame older men who wear Lycra and enjoy cycling; MAMILs (Middle Aged Men In Lycra). How dare they be active! How dare they not cover up their body! Lycra is bloody brilliant – I’m hugely grateful to whoever invented it for many reasons. I hope you do join those of us who wear it with no fucks given.
Oh, you have hit on another one of my hot buttons. But first I have to say about your comment that you are not a handsome man!! I disagree and I have no doubt Molly does too. You are one of the better looking men I’ve seen. And as far as fit… some of those fit prima donnas look like plastic Ken dolls.. no thanks. One of the sexist men I’ve ever met was a guy who weighed 500 pounds!!
And health is pretty subjective. Just because someone is thin, it doesn’t mean they are fit and healthy. And just because they are fat it doesn’t mean they aren’t!! I am a plus size woman and I am constantly being asked how I’m treating my diabetes because everyone knows that everyone who is fat is a diabetic! Wrong!!! I do not have diabetes, heart problems or high blood pressure. In fact, three people I do know who are diabetics are all thin!!
Now on to the age issue. I am 65, still very sexually active as well as mentally active. The only reason I’m not as physically active is due to a damaged leg from a car accident and that would be the case no matter what my age or weight.
On a forum that I am no longer active on, a 40 year old woman started laughing and gloating about finding kinky sex toys in her attic. They belonged to the former owners of her house who were in their 60’s. She laughed… “what do old people like this do with these kinds of things?” giggle, giggle, snort, snort….
I lost it and wrote a long article about sex after fifty that included using those kinky sex toys (hand cuffs, a riding crop, paddle and other things). I warned her, “watch out, little girl, you’re right behind us ‘old people’ and you better hope to hell that we are still sexually active, because you will be us before you know it.”
Well, my rant must have struck a nerve because it generated over 90,000 hits and 300 comments before I took the article down. It’s now on my Fetlife profile in case anyone wants to read it.
One of the dark sides of social media is this idea that you can say anything about anyone and get away with it because you are basically anonymous. I call this the “Reddit” mentality because that’s where I first saw… I know longer visit Reddit sites. I also call short attention spans “Twitter” mentality although I do have a Twitter account too.
It’s seems that the days of kindness and compassion and understanding, let alone acceptance is far behind us.
I love you Michael.
And I love you too Rose!
Aw, thank you!!
Rose Bliss…I’d love to read the article you wrote. Are you on Fet under the same name?
And fuck that shit, I fucking detest the shaming that goes on. I’m too ranty & sweary when I see things like that so I tend to walk away from the interwebs when I feel like that.
Yes, I am listed as RoseBliss….
Thanks, I’ll go have a look now 🙂