…it’s an adventure
I have had many terrible blow jobs.
What Michael? You aren’t grateful that a woman (I say woman because I am so boringly heterosexual it hurts) has deigned to put your cock in her mouth?
Yes indeed dear friends, that is just what I am saying, while I believe there is some parity between the comparison to pizza (even bad pizza is still at the end of the day pizza) it is entirely possible to give bad head. Before you men out there get all high and mighty, what I am about to say applies to you too!
Oral sex is about giving. You are denying, or at least delaying, your pleasure to give pleasure to another or, getting your pleasure from giving another person pleasure. This doesn’t mean it should be seen as a hardship or a chore, in fact if you see it as such perhaps you should consider why you are doing it at all, after all it is hard to be good at something you don’t like. A blow job shouldn’t be a job, it should be something that you look forward to doing and approach with joy and attention.
For me the enthusiasm that someone shows is critical, I want them to enjoy what they are doing, enjoy the sounds I make, the words that I say just as I enjoy those things when going down on them. No one can tell you how to give the perfect blowjob, especially not Cosmo or any of those other magazines, because what everyone likes is different. What is the perfect blow job to me might be terrible for someone else, so learning and communicating with your partner is crucial no matter who is doing what to whom.
Let me talk about (in the interest of full disclosure) some of the terrible oral sex I have received and have given.
I have had a woman fall asleep while giving me a blow job, complete with snoring, now to be fair she was very drunk and what I learned that night was that was sometimes you just have to say no when someone isn’t completely in control of themselves.
I myself had forgotten some of the lessons my first girl friend taught me and assumed that what one woman liked applied to all women, some don’t like the use of teeth as much as she did which resulted in an exclamation of “What the fuck are you doing down there, you aren’t eating corn on the cob!”
I myself fell afoul of “excessive teeth syndrome” during a one night stand when it seemed to me that she had mistaken my cock for a chew toy.
These are just a few example of when sex has gone awry for a variety of reasons, and I am not claiming that I always have it all figured out. Sex and the pleasure we get from sex is a careful balancing act between you and your partner and no one gets it right every time.
My first experience with any sex at all was when I was 14 years old. I had just started High School when I met Mary (she was 18) and for reasons that escape me to this day had set her sights on me. We lived on the same road about 2 miles apart from each other and often we would walk towards each other and meet half way. Just off the road was a large field with a stand of tall pine trees in the middle and we would walk hand in hand to the bed of pine needles that lay beneath the trees. It was there that I learned much of what I know about sex (Thank you Mary!) and where the first sex I ever had was Mary sucking my cock. This girl was passionate about sex and was enthusiastic to teach me everything she knew. Mary also taught me to give head. She talked me through what she liked and didn’t like and that didn’t stop when my tongue met her pussy. Moans and sighs were always interspersed with comments and directions and that taught me how important communication was during sex. I wanted to give her the same amazing pleasure I felt when she sucked me. I wanted to leave her breathless and weak-kneed and begging me to stop because it all just felt too good. I have carried these lessons over the many years and many partners since, and any who I have told of Mary often wished they could tell her what a good foundation she gave me.
How to give me the perfect blow job? Like giving it as much as I like receiving it.
P.S. Over the time I was writing this I have done several other things including making lunch for Molly and as often happens while doing that I made comparisons between these two activities. I was making her a wrap, and I have a reputation for my wraps and sandwiches and Molly always raves about how delicious they are. Once she asked me what it was that I did. I told her that I have a theory of sandwich making, that the order of ingredients and placement is hugely important to the results and so I never just throw things between two slices of bread. I very carefully plan the placement of each item so that every bite brings the tastes together on your tongue. I use that same attention to detail when I go down on her. Make of that what you will 😉
5 thoughts on “It’s not just a job”
I admittedly don’t like giving blow jobs. I’ve never found them appealing, even before my ex ruined the experience for me by trying to choke me with his cock all the time rather than actually letting me do anything. I don’t really get anything sexually out of it, I don’t even like to see images of it. I do it because I’ve yet to meet a man who didn’t require it as part of a power exchange arrangement. I would never refuse to do it and I always attempted to do it well whenever my ex did actually let me do my thing, even if I don’t personally find it stimulating. I find satisfaction in possessing certain skills even when I don’t necessarily find pleasure in their execution.
But, hey, I’m weird.
Well if you’re weird then you have a lot of company. I have known many women over the years (and I am sure there are gay men who feel the same) that don’t like to give blow jobs for a variety of reasons. I dated a young lady for a while that loved blow jobs but hated it if you came in her mouth. Different strokes for different folks I say! Keep right on being who and what you are 🙂
Love blow jobs and enthusiasm tends to be the most favored thing by men, the rest just falls into place with communication, as you said.
I’ve never enjoyed giving BJs. With The Dominator’s love and patience, I’m finally somewhat better at them, but it is still a rare occasion if he comes! I want to please him, but I do not find it pleasant, romantic, or erotic to do this. I don’t know why. I’ve talked with quite a few women and it seems to me this is fairly common. I wish I felt differently because it gives him so much pleasure. I know what he likes, and I try often, yet I fear my emotions are too deeply ingrained even though I want to serve him.
No matter how much you desire to serve there will always be things that you only do out of service and not out of personal desire, as long as you know why you are doing it 🙂