Me in a suit for Dressing Down

Dressing Down

I am not one for wearing suits. There isn’t anything about them that works for me. I don’t feel powerful when I put one on, I don’t feel smart (sharp, for the murricans) when I wear a suit, in fact I really hate that expression. It somehow insinuates that people who wear suits are smarter than the rest of us. Mostly what I feel is uncomfortable and wondering how I am going to swing anything properly in this ridiculous get up.

Prior to attending my very first Fet club I went to read the rules.

Now many of the rules make perfect sense. Things about consent and safety that are an absolute must. Often there is a house safeword and even Dungeon Monitors. All great stuff. But then I got to the dress code. There are a few key words:

“Make an effort”

“Minimum all black”

“No Jeans or sneakers” (trainers for the Brits)

Now these rules seem to  mainly mean that I have to look (at least to me) ridiculous. I can wear any number of outlandish outfits and I would be escorted right in (I have often threatened to show up in a full scuba suit) but I am not going to feel Domly if I dress in a clown suit or latex or butt less chaps. Kudos if that works for you, but why does your kink get a pass while my desire to be a “Plaincothes Perv” gets shot down?

I have heard all the counter claims:

People like to dress up.

Well, no, not all of us do. I feel powerful when I am comfortable and I expend a lot of effort and energy when I play with Molly and you know what? A sweaty suit is sexy to no one.

It keeps the random people from off the street from just coming in to point and laugh.

When has this actually ever happened? All the Fetclubs I know have very strict policies on who gets in. We have had to go through an extensive vetting process for most clubs.

It is a themed event and participating makes everyone have a better time.

Okay, I will grant you this one. I do attend events where the dress code is part of the dynamic of the event, Clothed Male Naked Female is one such event (don’t worry, that gets a whole post of its own) and so I am willing (ish) to accede to their requirements, but they really don’t improve my enjoyment of the event.

Molly and I have never attended Torture Garden or any of the other “dress to impress” events. Mostly because it seems like all they are is a fetish fashion show and from what I have heard the spanking benches spend more time being used as seats than for their intended kinky purpose.

I have a dream.
That we will one day attend a club where we will not be judged by the condition of our wardrobe, but by the content of our kinky character.
Fight for your right to dress down!
P.S. Molly loves to dress up and I love how she looks. She has a closet full of slut clothes that she adores wearing and I would never want to change that.

12 thoughts on “Dressing Down

  1. Having never been to such a club, forgive me, but I always invisioned all the suited fellows taking off their jackets and rolling up their sleeves, loosening collars and relaxing into things. In that case, non denim trousers and a button down shirt seems doable? The idea of full throttle flogging etc in a suit seems uncomfortable with limited range of movement, plus sweaty, so very sweaty.

    Perhaps you and Molly should open your own establishment?

    1. All of the things you have said are true, except, the shirt pulls out of my pants (trousers) on my very first swing and then after, when I am all hot and sweaty I have to put my jacket back on and as Molly can tell you. I run very hot 😉

      If we only had the money we would most certainly open a venue of our own. Maybe a kickstarter is in order?

  2. OMG, I don’t care how you dress, but I think I’m in love, and very jealous of Molly!! Seriously, I love your attitude and I’m surprised there is a dress code…

    Now about that dressed male and naked female thing….

  3. Speaking as a jeans, tee and converse gal I relate Michael! I do like hubs in a suit but I love a guy in jeans and a shirt, with sleeves rolled up for added arm porn of course! Can’t wait to read about CM/nf as its something I have only experienced in the privacy of my own home.

  4. I looked at a club in Dublin as they are few and far between here, the dress code is that everyone has to dress up. Not so tough for me but I can’t see Sir in a costume. Suits not allowed.

    1. I am just the contrary kind of person to want to dress silly when they say serious and serious when they say silly. And really how we are dressed seems to be just all of the silly.


  5. I hate “Make an effort”. I made an effort to get to this venue. I made an effort to be vetted. I made an effort to pay before I got here. I made an effort to follow all the rules (well not precisely effort but still did it). Why should I dress up in something that is NOT me? just accept me for the “relaxed” man that I am.

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