“You have to hold back with me.” She said “You don’t have to hold back with her”
Molly worries that she can’t take enough, that she isn’t good enough or tough enough. And in a way she is right about one detail, I can hit some others harder than I can hit her, but that is really missing the point of why I do this. Now there are many other things that Molly and I do that others would not be able to handle, like our knife and vampire glove/bloodplay, and while I do relish the chance to “put my back into it” so to speak that isn’t what really does it for me. What does it for me is the connection, the rapport that we have when when we play. Sure I have fun playing with other people but it isn’t about D/s and that is the part that really works for me. That we have something more than just the hitting and the implements and the results. It is that what we do strengthens the bond between us. It makes us connected in a way that I have never felt with anyone else ever.
So I put her on the sofa today and took the long dressage whip and started rough. I tend to start rough with Molly because she needs to overcome her resistance to what is going on. I love watching her struggle with that. She wants to use her safeword and yet at the same time she does not. She wants to get to the place where she starts to lean into it and start floating to the rhythm of the strikes. She thinks that if I start slow she can take more, but I find that what really happens is that she starts to get distracted in the time it takes for the intensity to rise. I like to start a bit harder and grab her attention and focus and then vary the intensity until I see that look in her eyes when she surrenders to it.
That is what I want, to make her surrender, but I love every little bit of the struggle and fight along the way.
I paused after about ten minutes and said.
“I want you to put you bottom back up in the air and ask for more”
“But I don’t want more”
I just waited, tapping the whip until she complied.
Afterwards as I sat caressing her bottom I told her she was a good girl and that she had given me just what I wanted. She also gave herself just what she needed. The fight.
That is why no one can ever take her place in my heart and under my hand. We are what each of us needs. And that is perfection.
P.S. I think that means that she is plenty tough enough.