Horse kissing my face for Communication

Talk to me

You are not the boss of me

And I am not the boss of you, unless that is what we have negotiated.

I have decided that I need to revisit my views on communication.

It is often described as a cornerstone of D/s that constant communication is utterly necessary within scenes and play negotiation, and I still believe that is true. A lack of communication can lead to mistakes being made and consent being violated.

Where my thoughts on communication have diverged is on extending that communication beyond those parameters. Especially when people are communication via social media or blogs, I have noticed a growing trend of people attempting to police how others communicate online.

You don’t get to do that. I can say whatever I want, however I want to say it. If I am on social media and you say something I take issue with I may @ you and tell you just how wrong you are.

Or I may not.

I may decide that A) it isn’t worth making someone I generally agree with angry/upset or B) that my voice will not change anyone’s mind/opinion for whatever reason. But I may be moved enough on a topic to say something without @ing anyone at all. And if you think I am talking about you, well I am probably not, but you might want to think a bit harder about why you think I am talking about you.

You might call that a subtweet, I call it expressing myself how I damn well please for the reasons I choose. You don’t like it? Too damn bad. The notion that we “owe” anyone a response, especially a response that they deem acceptable is a giant load of crap. You could wish I would engage the way you like, and I might acquiesce, but really that isn’t your call, nor is it ok for me to tell you the “acceptable” way to interact with me.

Absolutism of any stripe is, in my opinion, the road to damnation. That goes for rules of communication as well. I would ask that you stop policing how other people talk, or for that matter don’t talk. After all you wouldn’t want me to tell you what to do…

or would you?



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