There is a new chapter of my life that I want to talk about. I know this is a sensitive area for some and certainly is a contentious one in the D/s community. People have strong opinions often based on misconceptions. I have hesitated to write this post because I know that some feel strongly enough about it (even in the BDSM world) to call it perverse.
I am kitten’s Daddy.
That is a powerful thing to say and for many people they immediately think the worst. And they will mostly think the worst about me. I have seen plenty of people on Twitter and Tumblr say that they can see nothing good in this subset of D/s, that it is in fact, abuse. What makes this extra irritating is that I have already had to endure people calling BDSM abuse, and now I have to once again defend my choices, but this time to kinky people.
Yes, what we do is considered taboo, like all of the rest of D/s, we are playing with those mysteries of the human mind that intersects with our sexuality.
As with Molly, I am the Dom that kitten has chosen to guide her as she learns what her submission means to her. This evolution involved many long discussion about the things that she desired and how those things meshed with me. When we first agreed that she wished to submit to me and that I was willing to accept her submisson I called her pet and she called me sir. But as those explorations and discussions continued those names changed. She became kitten and eventually I became Daddy.
Here are the things that this doesn’t mean to us.
- That she is my “daughter” or that either of us think of her as related to me.
- That when she is “little” that she is underage for the purposes of sexual play.
- She does not dress “little”.
- No diapers or baby play.
- There is no age regression.
Here are some things it does mean to us.
- That I nurture her and care for her, sometimes in a way that is more paternal.
- That the difference in age does play into it.
- We do have snuggles and cuddles.
- She does have stuffies. (cuddly toys)
I get that people are concerned about what DD/lg play means. That it is really just a cover for a darker taboo. That isn’t the case at all. We are all well above the age of consent, we are engaging in a kink that works for us and harms no one else. I am not saying that there are not people out there for whom this is a cover, just like there are those who use BDSM as a cover for abuse. I am trying to help kitten become the best version of herself she can be and giving her and I a space to learn what that means to each of us. I want to help her realize that she is already a strong, talented, powerful woman.
As far as we are concerned this journey has been a very good one so far and as for the future, well, none of us know what that will bring, but we will embrace those changes as they come and make the best of it all.
I should also note that this is not the only aspect of kink that kitten and I are exploring. We often have in depth discussions about the things that turn her on and how we can turn some of these things from fantasy to some form of reality. Some will be a smashing successes and some will be the discovery that some things are hotter in our heads than they are in real life.