There is a feeling you get when you are in control. I am someone whose job it was to be in control.
I used to use this everyday
And one of my favorite places to use it was here
I am in the tower in the crowd in this shot mixing sound at The Jacksonville Jazz Festival and in control.
Here is the thing about doing sound at an event like this, there are no soundchecks. You just grab and go. No idea what is going to happen, you probably don’t know the song, or even when someone is going to take a solo. The weather is unpredictable, you are by the river and not far from the ocean so the wind can blow from any direction and all of that impacts how you mix.
It is pure terror.
And utter bliss.
You have one shot to get it right and if you don’t there will be thousands of people to let you know if you didn’t. I did the main stage mix at this event for over a decade and it never failed to make me feel completely alive and in the moment.
You might be wondering why on earth I am writing about this? It is because someone asked me a question today.
“Can I ask you how it feels when someone submits to you?”
That made me pause and think and instead of answering them directly I thought I would share my answer with all of you.
It feels like my best day doing sound. That feeling of control, of considering everything all at once and taking it into account as I make each decision of what to do and how to do it. I get that same feeling with D/s, when I am the one in charge. This is especially true for me when we are playing, but certainly not exclusive to those moments. Any act of direction contains its own set of circumstances that must be considered before acting, or even setting tasks. Get it wrong and no one is happy.
Get it right and that buzz fills my head, that feeling of clarity and rightness. That all the thought and communication and planning has led to this moment where you take the submission you have been offered…
and you use it well.
Unlike a live show where thousands cheer (and even then they are never cheering for the sound guy) your appreciative audience is much smaller, but that doesn’t change the way I feel even the slightest bit, because the mutual satisfaction and celebration of two is more powerful to me than that of a large crowd.
This has probably not cleared anything up for anyone except myself, but because of this question I know myself better and I hope that means that with greater understanding of how it makes me feel.
I will do a better job of honoring the joy of accepting someone’s submission
P.S. Thank you for your question kitten x